


Can You Fix The Broken?

by hunterpond



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bruises, Emotional Trauma, Emotional Turmoil, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt Obi-Wan, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Nightmares, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Panic Attacks, Protective Ahsoka, Protective Anakin, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Tears, Whump, so many tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:04:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6283831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunterpond/pseuds/hunterpond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He could not let Anakin know about the darkening bruises, or the psychological scars that he will forever carry with him. Because it would make him suffer and it would make him angry, and Obi-Wan could not have that. He was doing this for the well-being of the galaxy. </p><p>He was doing this for Anakin.</p><p>Or so he tried to tell himself.</p><p>[A/N: Discontinued until I find inspiration to continue writing this.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys, let me just start by stating that story will contain elements of non-consensual sex and sexual assault, therefore, if you are triggered easily, I would not recommend you reading it.
> 
> Also, this story will eventually feature a flashback or description of Obi-Wan's rape, which will not he too graphic due to the sensitivity of this topic. I will also put a warning before it begins so that people can skip it if they wish to. 
> 
> There is a surprising lack of hurt!Obi-Wan fics, and this idea has been stuck in my head for days, so I had to share it.
> 
> Here we go then.
> 
> WARNINGS: this story cointains non-graphical rape, heavy violence, self-loathing elements and light suicidal thoughts.

He felt like his entire body was on fire as he made his way towards his shared quarters with Anakin in the Jedi Temple. He could faintly hear the distant sounds of engines belonging to the countless speeders that daily circle the buildings of Coruscant. He was limping and the night seemed to be colder than usual, but a small voice inside his head told him that probably had something to do with the fact that his tunic had almost been completely torn apart. He was also pretty sure he was bleeding.

  
Obi-Wan took in a deep breath, wrapping his left arm around his bruised torso where he had been hit several times, and ran his right hand through his dirty and messy hair. The closer he got to his quarters, the harder it became to continue walking. He wasn’t sure when he had started to shiver, but the black spots in his vision were becoming more frequent - you have been bleeding out for hours and has done nothing to stop it, a small voice inside his head explained, but Obi-Wan wasn’t interested in stopping the blood, he was more interested in making it back to his room before passing out. Anakin should be asleep by now-

  
_Anakin_.

  
The mere mention of his former Padawan's name was like a punch to the gut. What would Anakin think?, he thought. Anakin, who always gave his best to make sure all those around him are safe and happy. Anakin, who wears his big heart on his sleeve, and is not afraid to openly express his feelings, no matter how many times Obi-Wan has told him that there is no emotion, there is peace, my young apprentice. Anakin, who has the brightest smile Obi-Wan has ever seen. Anakin, whom he loves deeply - probably more than he should -, but would never bring himself to admit it out loud. Anakin, who is filled with as much hate and fear, as he is full of love and passion. Anakin, whose constant stubbornness and rule bending will one day will get him killed.

  
_Anakin, who must not know about tonight_ , the voice said once again.

  
Shouldn’t he tell Anakin? He could help.

  
_You will only succeed in making him angry, and you know how he gets when he’s angry._

  
Another shudder ran through his body at the thought. He had very low tolerance for the times Anakin allowed his feelings to control him. He knew that his former apprentice had had a harder time than most Jedi at controlling his emotions, mostly because he wasn’t raised in the crèche and joined the Temple when he was already nine years old, but also because Anakin felt things more strongly and with more depth than anyone else Obi-Wan has ever met. However, he cannot help but admit that Anakin’s need to express his emotions is as vital to him, as air is vital for him to breathe and blood is essential for his hurt to pump. Anakin would not be the same person without the emotional erraticism that is so characteristic of him, and though Obi-Wan does not recommend such behaviour, he cannot help it but be kind of glad for it.

  
However, his unpredictable and uncontrolled anger is one emotion in particular that Obi-Wan detests about his former Padawan. Anakin being unhappy and grumpy about something is not new, but frustration and irritation are feelings that are understandable. Obi-Wan has had his share of them, being Anakin’s mentor. But when Anakin Skywalker got angry, he became borderline _terrifying_ , and what makes Obi-Wan most uneasy, is the ripples in the Force he can feel they cause. He can feel the power hungry and all-consuming darkness that lies inside his former apprentice burst into life, tearing apart years of control in a mere couple of seconds. He can sense its desire to devour Anakin’s light and suck him permanently into the shadows.

  
Obi-Wan felt it in Geonosis when Anakin saw Dooku’s attempt on his master’s life. He felt it whenever one of their missions involved the topic of slavery, and he felt it strongly during their investigation of the Zygerrian Slave Empire. He felt it during his undercover job as Rako Hardeen when Anakin believed Obi-Wan had been murdered, and he felt that darkness burn Anakin from the inside out in Mortis when Anakin had been momentarily converted to the Dark Side by The Son. Every time Anakin allowed himself to express his emotions too strongly, especially his anger, Obi-Wan could feel it radiate through their Master-Padawan bond, no matter how much effort Anakin put into his shields to block him out.

  
Because of this, Obi-Wan knew to calm his former apprentice down whenever his irritation started to progress into something more. He knew to comfort Anakin in the best ways he could whenever he was scared or sad, even if he tried to hide it. Obi-Wan did his best to help Anakin control his feelings, instead of releasing them into the Force, like the Jedi are taught to do, because without them, Anakin would not be himself. He did his best to appease the darkness inside his former Padawan, because no in hell he was letting the Dark Side destroy one of the galaxy’s biggest heroes in history, and one of the few people Obi-Wan holds closest to his heart. He would not let the shadows take Anakin away from a suffering universe when it needed him the most. He would not let them take Anakin away from him.

  
Because of this, however, Obi-Wan had to do everything in his power to make him unaware of the events of tonight. That he had simply gone out to Dex’s place to follow up a lead on a recent attempted murder of a Senator, but had made the mistake of letting his guard down and allowing himself to be ra- hurt. He could not let Anakin know about the darkening bruises, or the psychological scars that he will forever carry with him. Because it would make him suffer and it would make him angry, and Obi-Wan could not have that. He was doing this for the well-being of the galaxy. He was doing this for Anakin.

  
_Liar. You just don't want him to find out how weak you are, the voice said again._

  
Don’t.

  
_You don’t want him to find out how filthy and disgusting you are for letting them do that to you_.

Stop. He didn’t want it.

  
_Didn’t you?_

  
No.

  
_It is your fault._

No. _No_.

  
_You were responsible. Only you._

  
Stop, please.

  
_You got yourself into that mess on your own, and now you’re dealing with the consequences alone_.

  
Obi-Wan choked back a sob, as he leaned against the door of his quarters. He quickly made his way inside, careful not to disturb Anakin, who he could feel was asleep. Obi-Wan entered his room and made a beeline to the ‘fresher, before locking the door once inside and collapsing against it. He slid down to the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them close.

Only then did he allow the tears to fall.

  
He was doing this for _Anakin_ , or so he tried to tell himself.

~~~

  
When Anakin woke up in the early morning, he could sense something was very wrong. As he entered the living room of his and Obi-Wan’s quarters, he could feel echoes of pain, despair, and shame. He did not know their source, but he knew the Force was trying to tell him something. He had a feeling something bad had happened, and he intended to find out exactly what.

  
Anakin started by going to check on Obi-Wan first, before proceeding to the kitchen to cook their breakfast. That was a mistake. The moment he entered the room, he was hit by a massive strong wave of turmoil.

  
He winced in discomfort and raised his shields up more tightly. He supported himself against the nearest wall for a few seconds to try and regain his balance, before walking around the room. Anakin took in his surroundings and noticed that his Master had not made it back to his room last night. Either that or he had left really early, even before sunrise, which wasn’t unusual for Obi-Wan, but Anakin felt that this time, there was something more to it. His bed was impeccably made – in fact, it was in the exact same state as the previous morning - and nothing too serious seemed to be out of the ordinary.

  
“Master?” He called out, curiously.

  
No one answered, of course.

After looking around for a bit, he walked towards the ‘fresher, the only placed he hadn’t checked yet, and scrunched his face in confusion when he noticed the door was locked. Anakin put his ear against the doorframe, but didn’t hear anything, so he decided to knock instead, in case Obi-Wan was inside.

  
“Master?” He said. “Are you in there?”

  
He heard a small unidentifiable sound inside, but the noise didn’t return when he knocked against the door again, a few minutes later. His gut was telling him something was really wrong.

  
“Obi-Wan, what happened? Are you alright?” He tried again, successfully emitting a noise from whoever was inside in the fresher, but there was no verbal reply to his question.

“Obi-Wan! I know you’re in there! Let me in, please. I just want to know if you’re okay.”

  
As expected, his Master didn’t answer. Suddenly, as he was about to knock again, he saw something out of the corner of his eye, near the entrance button. He lightly touched the stain with his flesh fingers and brought it up closer to his face to analyse it. What Anakin noticed only made his worry increase exponentially. Blood. He was bleeding when he got in there.

  
“Obi-Wan, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong _right now_ , I’m going to rip this door off its frame, damned be the consequences!”

  
He was about to do just that when his Master finally opened the door

 

 

  
Obi-Wan woke up to the sound of knocking and the feeling of the door vibrating against his back. He quickly shot up into a standing position, his head pounding heavily, and braced himself against the sink.

  
“ _Master_.” He heard Anakin say, his voice a little muffled. “ _Are you in there?_ ”

  
_Nononono_. This could not be happening. Anakin could not see him like this. He looked down at his ruined clothing and inhaled deeply, before beginning to remove them and throwing them on the floor. He stripped down until he was naked, and held back a sob as he took in his state in the mirror.

  
Obi-Wan’s hair was completely dishevelled, and the right side of his face was coated in dry blood, from where his head had been hit against the floor repeatedly. His face was filthy with blood and dirt, while his cheeks were covered in tear tracks, and his right cheekbone displayed a purple bruise where he was almost sure he had been punched. He had scratch marks all over his shoulders, back and chest, and he could identify at least three different sets of handprints on his neck. Dark bruises all over his torso and abdomen stood out against his pale freckled skin, where they had viciously kicked and punched him more times than he could count. Obi-Wan also noticed small shallow cuts on arms and hands, result of his desperate attempt to crawl away from them, and he could see his right wrist was completely swollen, after one of his attackers twisted it. Finally, he could feel more tears threatening to fall as he noticed the bruises and scratches on his hips, as well as the angry red marks on his inner thighs and a lot dry blood between his legs.

  
Obi-Wan lowered his head, not being able to stare at his broken frame anymore. He winced softly as Anakin knocked once again.

  
“ _Obi-Wan, what happened? Are you alright?_ ”, his former apprentice said, and he closed his eyes and finally let out a sob.

  
_You look disgusting._

  
“ _Obi-Wan_!”

He could feel something wet rolling down his cheeks

  
_Weak_.

  
“ _I know you’re in there!_ ”

  
He tried to control his erratic breathing, but to no avail.

  
_What would he think of you? He would probably be ashamed of having someone so damn pathetic as his Master._

  
Obi-Wan clumsily wiped the blood and dirt from his face with his ruined shirt, and desperately tried to hold back his tears.

  
“ _Let me in, please!_ ”

  
This time, the small voice inside his head twisted into _his_ voice and, suddenly, Obi-Wan couldn’t breathe.

  
_Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi_.

  
Knock.

  
_Hero of the Clone Wars_.

  
Knock.

  
_One of the most cunning warriors of his generation._

  
Knock.

  
“ _I just want to know if you’re okay_.”

  
Knock.

  
_Not so tough now, are you?_

  
Obi-Wan wrapped his bath robe around himself tightly, hiding the bruises and the blood from his neck downwards, and braced himself against the wall. His vision was spinning, and he forced himself to breathe, because passing out right now would only interfere with his goal of hiding his attack from Anakin.

“ _Obi-Wan, if you don't tell me what's wrong right now, I'm gonna rip this door off its frame, damned be the consequences!_ "

  
He furiously wiped the tears from his face, mentally kicking himself for not being able to control his emotions. He secured his shields tightly, making sure Anakin was completely oblivious as of his current mental state.

  
Then, after making sure none of his injuries were exposed, with exception of those on his face, he opened the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is a bit shorter than the last one, but it's well over 1am and I am really tired. However, I have already begun chapter three, in which the plot begins and will be longer than this one. Thank you all so much for your kudos and your comments, it means a lot to me! And don't be afraid to express your opinion. If you have any criticism (positive and negative) or suggestions, leave them in the comments.
> 
> Have fun.

“There’s no need to be so dramatic, Anakin.” Obi-Wan stated stoically, his voice betraying none of the emotions that attempted to tear him apart from the inside.

“ _Dramatic-”_ Anakin began before letting out a sigh of exasperation and staring at Obi-Wan with intense frustration. “I wasn’t being _dramatic_. I called your name _several_ times, and even though you heard me, you didn’t even bother answering until I almost burst through the kriffing door!”

Then Anakin whispered so quietly that had Obi-Wan not been standing only a couple of feet away from him, he would have missed it.

“ _I was worried about you.”_

Obi-Wan swallowed ashamedly for inflicting such strong emotion onto his former Padawan, and fought back the overwhelming guilt that threatened to take him over.

“I am so incredibly sorry, Anakin”. He announced, his voice cracking a bit on the last syllable. “I was about to enter the shower and I did-”

However, before he could continue, Anakin cut him off by taking a step forward and standing even closer to Obi-Wan, until their chests were almost touching. The Jedi Master held in his breath as Anakin cupped his right cheek in his flesh hand, his thumb threading softly over the purpling bruise there.

“What happened to you, Obi-Wan?” Anakin whispered, his ocean blue eyes filled with concern and affection, as well as curiosity.

Obi-Wan could feel his heart speeding up rapidly and hammer mercilessly against his ribcage, the sensation of Anakin’s soft hand against his skin filling him with such warmth and peacefulness he has not felt since before his attack. The mere reality of it all, - of Anakin’s touch on his face, the closeness of his body to Obi-Wan’s, the glowing affection in his eyes – was enough to make the Jedi Master freeze for what felt like hours, and immerse himself in the intoxicating feeling of rightfulness, of belonging, of _home_ that arose from the younger man’s inimitable presence in that very moment. It is in this blazing moment, that Obi-Wan is made aware of a very old and dangerous feeling that had been kept buried deep inside himself for a long time. A feeling he had vowed not to express openly, nor allow it to cloud his judgement, and that he had maintained caged for years, whose focus had shifted from person to person countless times – Cerasi, Siri Tachi, Qui-Gon, Satine and now Anakin. An overwhelming feeling of pure and raw _love_.

At the very beginning, when his Master had tragically died in his arms and Obi-Wan had been knighted too early because of a battle he knew he should have lost, he hated Anakin Skywalker. He resented him, because simply a day after getting acquainted with him, Qui-Gon was already predisposed to abandon his current Padawan for a new one without even having the Council’s approval. He detested Anakin, because his Master’s dying words, which were supposed to be something precious and important, which Obi-Wan had hoped were to be about him, were about _Anakin_ , and Qui-Gon’s delusional last wish to turn the boy into a Jedi. Obi-Wan resented the former slave, because he had been forced to train the Chosen One, when all he wanted to do was yell at the Jedi for making him a Knight even though he was not ready, and curse at the universe for taking his Master away from him. He wanted to cry, and grieve and throw his entire life away, but he could not do it, because he had Anakin to train, because he had made a promise, and it wasn’t _fair_.

He had resented Anakin for a while, but the years went by and he became older, wiser and eventually made peace with himself and his designated destiny. He grew to care for Anakin like a son, then like a brother, and cherish him like he was family, because he had become a huge part of Obi-Wan’s existence and he could not see himself living any life that did not include Anakin in it by his side. However, his feelings for him had never escalated higher than that, until now. If he thought he had loved Anakin before, this time the feeling has been amplified to its maximum, and its warmth and influence is engulfing Obi-Wan in a sea of fondness, care and passion. On this moment, with Anakin so close to him, touching him, the voice inside his head is quiet and it feels like the events of the previous night never existed. For the first time since his attack, Obi-Wan can _breathe_ , and he does not realize he is crying until Anakin moves his hand to wipe a tear from his eye.

Obi-Wan took half a step backwards, breaking the contact with his former apprentice.

“I’m fine, Anakin. There was just a minor incident last night that did not leave me unscathed, however I can assure you I will live.” He said, doing his best to give the other man one of his comforting grins. However, from the look on Anakin’s face, he was pretty sure it had only made him more apprehensive.

“What minor incident?” The younger Jedi inquired. “Did someone hit you? Did they try to hurt you?”

 _Yes, and they succeeded_ , the voice said. He ignored it.

Obi-Wan could sense Anakin’s protectiveness hanging on to the last sentence and he smiled softly.

“It was a minor altercation outside Dex’s place. Some Rodian thief attempted to steal my lightsaber and thought that knocking me out by punching was his best shot.” The lie easily left his lips, and he swallowed thickly as the guilt once again came back to torment him. “You should have seen his face when I didn’t even lose my balance. I did not know a living being could run that fast.”

That last comment earned a long laugh from Anakin, who threw his head backwards in joy before recomposing himself and flashing one of his signature smiles at Obi-Wan.

“I would have given away _all_ my credits to see that.” He said. Then, he placed a hand on Obi-Wan’s hurt shoulder, squeezing it lightly, while the older Jedi did his best to hold back a groan.

“Just next time, don’t scare me like that, okay?” He asked, and Obi-Wan slowly nodded. “Good. Now go shower, while I make us some breakfast.”

Then, he gave him another smile and left the room. Obi-Wan collapsed, falling to his knees and struggling to control his now irregular breathing. He closed his eyes, focusing on his Jedi training to help him calm down.

“There is no emotion, there is peace.” He said to himself out loud.

 _Yet you can’t pass two minutes without breaking down in tears_ , the voice argued back.

“There is no passion, there is serenity.”

_What about your forbidden attachment to Anakin?_

“There is no chaos, there is harmony.”

_Then what do you call this swirling storm inside your messed up head?_

Obi-Wan let out a small sob, but held back his tears. He was a kriffing Jedi Master! He could deal with this on his own, and he was sure that this instability would pass after a couple of days. The wounds would heal and the pain would fade away.

It was only a matter of time.

Or so he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin makes some discoveries, Ahsoka shows up and Obi-Wan cries some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter has a flashback to Obi-Wan's assault. It is not very graphic but if you are triggered easily, feel free to skip the italics.

_Obi-Wan felt a hand wrap itself around his ankle and suddenly he was being pulled backwards. He thrashed against his assaulter’s grip by attempting to kick someone-_ anyone _,_ _and trying to make them lose their hold on him. He felt his foot hit something solid, earning a grunt from whoever got hit, and a part of him bathed in the satisfaction, before he was overwhelmed with dread as another hand gripped his free ankle and pinned both of his legs to the floor. Two more of them pinned his arms down above his head, and Obi-Wan arched his back, desperately trying to free himself, but a punch to the gut, around his diaphragm, took all the air from his lungs and he finally collapsed to the floor._

_As he coughed violently, trying to breathe, he felt his legs being spread apart by the same hands from before, and sensed someone position themselves between them._

_“Not going anywhere, are you, darling?” He whispered against his ear, sending a chill down Obi-Wan’s spine. “We haven’t even had fun yet!”_

_His attacker then licked his ear and Obi-Wan flinched away. Suddenly, he gripped his hair tightly and violently pulled his head back, exposing the Jedi’s throat. The stranger licked and kissed his neck hungrily, leaving a trail of small bite marks and hickeys from his jaw to the junction between his shoulder and his neck. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, breathing heavily in disgust, but a painful pull on his hair made them fill with tears and open again._

_“Keep your eyes open, sweetheart.” He ordered angrily._

_“I want you to watch as I fuck you”. He continued, his accent making the words sound almost soft and caring._

_Obi-Wan cowered in fear and began to struggle wildly against the hands holding him in place. He tried to summon the Force, to reach for his bond with Anakin, to contact_ anyone _to help him, but it was useless. They had cut off his contact with the Force and there was no one coming for his aid. This time he was completely and utterly alone and no one could save him._

_Obi-Wan tried not to let that dim his hopes of getting out of there alive._

_He felt the hand on his head let go of his hair and move to his throat, clutching tightly. The grip on his arms disappeared and the Jedi moved his arms to his throat, clawing desperately at the hands that were cutting off his air supply. Obi-Wan choked and thrashed, frantically trying to get some air into his lungs but to no avail._

_“Now, are you going to behave for me?” His attacker inquired calmly. He nodded weakly as his vision began to blur and fade._

_Then, he let go and Obi-Wan instantly inhaled deeply and fast, heaving violently but relaxing as his breathing began to even out again._

_“Good. Now be a good little whore and spread your legs for me.”_

_He swallowed the shame and the embarrassment and did as he was told, afraid his assailant would choke him again and successfully kill him._

_Obi-Wan stayed quiet as he felt his tunic being ripped apart and his pants being pulled down. The chill air of the night against his exposed legs made him shiver lightly, but he stayed quiet and swallowed down the tears as he heard the man on top of him unbuckle his belt. Then, he felt something probe at his entrance and violently enter him, and Obi-Wan began to scream._

He woke up in his bed screaming, drenched in sweat and with tears streaming down his face. He stared at the ceiling for several minutes, hoping he hadn’t woken Anakin up, but a small tug in their bond informed Obi-Wan that his apprentice was not sleeping next door, and had probably opted to sleep elsewhere for the night. For that Obi-Wan was glad, as much as a big part of him wished Anakin was right there, lying next to him, and whispering loving words of comfort, holding him safely in his arms. He shook his head at the thought, mentally kicking himself for hoping and dreaming of a scenario he knew would never come to fruition. He sighed in frustration and put his hands on his face.

It had been nearly two weeks since that night. The bruises on his torso were fading into a light yellow, and the one on his cheek had almost completely disappeared. The gash on his upper temple had healed and had left a small pink scar, hidden behind his hair, while the handprints on his neck were also fading away. Obi-Wan had used a small cast that was easily concealed beneath his robe’s sleeve to fix his broken wrist, which was healing nicely. The soreness on his thighs and bottom were gone, and the bruises there were also getting better, though he was not sure if they would leave a permanent mark. His body seemed to be recovering well from the trauma, though the same could not be said about his mind.

He barely sleeps at night, being constantly plagued by nightmares and memories he would rather forget. Every time Obi-Wan closes his eyes, he can feel their hands touching _everywhere_ , his hair, his chest, his hips and then he wakes up sobbing, his face covered in tears and sweat. He can see their smiles in the dark, laughing at him and toying with him until his vision is blurred with tears and his guts filled with despair. He can hear himself scream as they violate him, over and over, until his voice is gone and he can taste blood at the back of his throat. Every night Obi-Wan wakes up in fear and pain, aching for the warmth of someone else’s presence to comfort him, but knowing he will never get it, because this was his punishment for his weakness. A part of him regretted not telling Anakin the truth about what happened that morning at the ‘fresher, because then he would not be feeling so _alone_. But he could not let anyone know, especially Anakin.

Obi-Wan would overcome this, one way or another. He just did not know if he would make it to the finish line with his spirit intact.

 ~

Anakin was watching a program on the HoloNet about mechanical engineering and speeders, when the door to his quarters chimed. He sighed in frustration and got up to answer the door.

It was rare for him or any other Jedi to get any time to rest lately, since the Clone Wars escalated. Every one of them, Masters, Knights and Padawans, were being sent to more and more missions, all over the Inner and Outer Rims, and Anakin could feel the collective tiredness and exhaustion in the Force emanating from all of them. The war has been raging on for nearly two years, and neither the Republic nor the Separatists were close to winning the conflict. Every time him, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka finished a mission, they were deployed to a new one, and another one after that, which Anakin could notice were taking a toll on all of them. Ahsoka was no longer as hyperactive as she used to be, nowadays falling asleep on their journeys from one system to another instead. Obi-Wan’s reflexes used to be the best Anakin has ever seen, but during combat, he noticed that they were not as sharp and quick as they used to be. Hell, Anakin himself was not as agile and fierce as he was in the beginning, but they barely got any time to recover in between injuries and deployments.

However, after Ahsoka literally collapsed with exhaustion over a week ago during a debriefing with the Jedi Council, they decided to give Anakin, his Padawan and his Master thirty days of rest, with no battles, no deployment, and no meddling with war business, only relaxing and healing. They had all been beaming with happiness and relief, and even though they thoroughly admired and recognized the importance of the job they were doing, all of the Jedi were thankful for this period of rest, as brief as it was. Anakin has spent most of his time so far with Padmé, whom he was barely in contact with on the past few months. He noticed that Ahsoka has been using his free time to be with the younglings at the crèche, teaching them and guiding them into becoming better Jedi and better people. Obi-Wan, being the workaholic that he was, has been spending his break with local police, providing help on any cases they needed assistance with, but when they did not require his consultation, his Master liked to hang out with Cody, Rex and Fives or assist Anakin in repairing random speeders and sky fighters.

On the other hand, Anakin also noticed that even though this free time was for relaxation, Obi-Wan seemed more stressed and exhausted than ever. He thought Anakin would not notice, but he did. With every passing day, the bags under his eyes seemed to get bigger, suggesting he was not getting enough sleep or any sleep at all. He was not eating either, skipping meals and only taking small bites of his food whenever he decided to eat and, because of this, Anakin noticed his Master was a bit thinner too. Sometimes, whenever he’s sitting down while watching the HoloNet, or standing in the Room of a Thousand Fountains watching the younglings play, he seemed to stare at nothing, as if his presence had left his body momentarily, before blinking and going back to the task at hand. Anakin swears he has even heard Obi-Wan talk to himself whenever he thought he was alone, and he was starting to worry.

It had all began after that morning when he confronted Obi-Wan in the ‘fresher, and his Master had told him about the incident he was involved in. Anakin had a feeling that there was more to that story than his Master had told him, so after numerous failed attempts of trying to get Obi-Wan to eat more, sleep more or talk more about that night, he decided he had to do something about it.

Anakin walked up to the door and deactivated the lock, revealing the small frame of his Padawan. He smiled and pulled her into a small hug, before letting her go, and sitting on the couch, leaving enough space for the Togruta girl to sit next to him.

“Did you do as I asked?” He inquired.

“Good afternoon to you too, Master.” Ahsoka replied sarcastically, earning a smile from Anakin.

“I did go to Dex’s place to look into the Rodian criminal Obi-Wan claimed had tried to rob him, and I did not find anything.”

“ _What?_ What do you mean you did not find anything?” Anakin demanded.

“Exactly what I just told you. I asked the staff, the locals, even Dex himself, and they all guaranteed to me that no Rodian had been to the dinner or the adjancent services that night.” She explained.

“So Obi-Wan lied.” He said, clenching his fists. “Why would he do that?”

“I am as lost as you, but here’s the interesting thing.” Ahsoka began, and Anakin moved closer to her as if she were to whisper a secret in his ear.

“Dex had indeed a meeting scheduled with Obi-Wan at the cantina, but he never made it there.” At her words, Anakin felt his stomach sink and his head be filled with dread and fear. He got up, pacing around the room for a few minutes, before turning towards Ahsoka.

“What do you think he is hiding?” She asked, and Anakin smirked menacingly.

“I have no idea.”

 _But I am going to find out_ , he said quietly to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions and criticism (positive and negative) are very welcome!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padmé gives her husband some advice, and Ahsoka does some investigating (and flirting). Meanwhile, Obi-Wan suffers some more, and Anakin temper doesn't help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote nearly four thousand words on this chapter. I can't feel my hand. And please don't kill me after reading this.
> 
> Enjoy it!
> 
> WARNING: Brief suicidal thoughts on this chapter.

Padmé’s lips curved into a smile as she sensed the strong smell of the lemon balm tea she was brewing and she inhaled the fresh scent deeply. She did not like most tea flavours, but this one was special as it was passed on by her mother to her when she was still a little girl. When Padmé was around ten, whenever she felt too stressed in her job as an advisor for the Apprentice Legislators program, she used to curl in her mother’s lap and drink the tea, while her mother softlyran her fingers through her hair. At her time as the Queen of Naboo, and even nowadays as a Senator in Coruscant, Padmé always made sure to have at least a small box of the tea with her, in case she needed it.

Therefore, today, after Anakin came to her apartment immersed in unease and extremely distressed, she was glad she had saved the last sachet in her cabinet for an emergency.

Padmé poured the contents of the kettle in a cup and turned off the heater, before walking over to her worried husband. Anakin had been standing on the outskirts of the apartment’s wide veranda for the past hour, silently watching the countless moving vehicles and neon lights that decorated the dark skies of Coruscant. He had not uttered a single word outside of their usual greetings, which included a simple hello and a small kiss on the cheek, and Padmé was worried. When she had hugged him, he seemed stiff, tense, and she did not have to be Force-sensitive to feel the waves of nervousness emanating from Anakin.

She walked quietly towards him, and carefully placed the tea in his hands. Anakin took it without question, and brought it close to his face, inhaling the aroma slowly before taking a sip of the hot liquid. After a few minutes, he turned to her and smiled.

“Thank you, angel.” He said warmly, and it was her turn to smile.

“Thought you could a little something to calm you down.” She explained, and the smile on his face faltered a little.

“I don’t think I will feel fully relaxed until this entire thing is over.” Padmé took his left hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

“This war has been a very heavy burden on the shoulders of the Senate.” She admitted. “I can’t even begin to imagine what it has been like for the Jedi.”

“It’s been… tough. Very tough. On all of us.” Anakin replied, and looked down. “But it’s not just that.” The last bit was said too quietly, and Padmé struggled to understand her husband’s words.

“What do you mean?” She inquired.

He stayed quiet and let go of her hand, and Padmé sighed.

“You know you can tell me anything, right, Ani?” She tried again, and at the mention of his childhood nickname, Anakin looked up at her.

“I don’t want to burden you with yet more problems. You have enough on your plate already and-” Anakin spoke up, but stopped when he felt Padmé place a finger on his lips.

“Firstly, I _know_ what I can and cannot handle.” She stated before continuing. “And secondly, this is clearly taking a huge tool on you, Ani. If you don’t want to share, I won’t force you, but if I can help in any way, I will, okay?”

He stared at her for a few seconds before nodding.

“It’s about Obi-Wan.” He said, before telling her about the episode on the ‘fresher and his Master’s strange behaviour on the past week.

Padmé nodded calmly every few seconds to assure Anakin she was still listening, but her thoughts were clouded with concern towards the Jedi Master she has known since childhood.

“But Ahsoka went back to the cantina to investigate and she found nothing that would point out to where Obi-Wan could have gone that night.” Anakin continued.

“I want to help him, but he won’t tell me what happened, and all I have is a list of places where he _didn’t_ go.” He explained, sounding defeated.

“And the worst part is that he outright lied to me. I hate it when people lie to me, _especially_ someone I’m close to.” Anakin confessed, the knuckles on his left hand turning white as he clenched the cup in his hands tightly. Padmé placed a hand on his, and he loosened his grip.

“Anakin,” she began. “you need to understand that Obi-Wan is a big boy, and he _can_ take care of himself. He doesn’t need you watching over him all seconds of the day, and if he feels like he needs help, he _will_ come to you when he’s ready.” Padmé said softly, trying to assure her husband that things were okay, even if a part of her did not feel like they were at all.

 _I just do not want him to be more stressed than he already is_ , she told herself, echoing Anakin’s words to her earlier.

 _Hypocrite_.

“You can’t protect those you love forever, Anakin. Though you try.” She said, making his grip on the empty cup tighten again.

Padmé carefully removed the object from his hands and placed it on the coffee table a few feet away before walking back to Anakin. She took one of his hands on hers again and placed the other on the back of his neck, caressing his hair. Then, Padmé pressed their lips together softly, and she felt him place his right hand on her hip and pull her closer to him. Their lips glided over each other smoothly, and Padmé let out a small moan as she felt Anakin’s warm tongue trace over her teeth before entering her mouth and intertwine itself with hers. She felt all the previous tension leave his body, and she pressed even closer to him, tilting her neck backwards as he devoured her mouth. Her grip on his hair tightened and Anakin gasped softly as he felt her let go of his hand and grasp his crotch.

Then, Padmé felt him smile against her lips and she grinned back.

Later at night, as she laid awake against Anakin’s bare chest, listening to his heart beating and soft snoring, she could not help but think about the recent events her husband had brought to light a few hours before. She has known Obi-Wan practically as long as she has known Anakin, ever since she was barely a teenage girl. And if there was something wrong with him, if something serious has happened to him, Padmé would find a way to help. He was like family to her, just as much as Anakin and her real relatives back on Naboo, and if her upbringing has taught her something, is that family you protect, no matter the costs.

 

~

 

Ahsoka groaned in distaste at the strong smell of urine mixed with what she supposed was sewage coming from the alleyway she was standing in. She was in one of the lowest levels of Coruscant, searching for a clue of Master Obi-Wan’s whereabouts all those nights ago, since some air taxi driver, that is normally parked a few blocks away from Dex’s place, had claimed to have driven the Jedi Master to a nightclub in this address that evening. So here she was, doing what was supposed to be her Master’s job, with her left boot smelling like piss.

Ahsoka was going to kill Anakin for doing this to her.

She went inside the club through the backdoor and groaned at the deafening sound of the electronic music bursting through the sound system.

Oh yes, she was _definitely_ going to kill him.

The Togruta girl wrapped herself more tightly against her cloak and hid her lightsaber from view as she struggled to make her way through the huge crowd towards to the bar. When she finally got there, she sat on one of the few available stools and looked around the club, waiting for one of the bartenders to get to her.

“How may I help you, love?” A soft voice behind the bar said, and Ahsoka turned around towards it. Her blue eyes met light yellow ones and she smiled softly.

“Just a glass of water will do, please.” Ahsoka said. The pink Twi’lek girl eyed her curiously but complied, and after a few seconds she was holding her beverage.

“So,” the girl started. “you are not here for the dancing, since I saw you avoid getting pulled into the dance floor several times before you made your way here. And you are _clearly_ not here for the drinking. So, spill. Which one is it?”

“Which one is what?” Ashoka asked confusedly.

“Are you looking for your partner or are you investigating something?” The bartender clarified, bringing a small smile to the Jedi’s lips.

“Investigating.” She answered. “You’re _good_.”

“I’ve been working here for a long time, that’s all.” The Twi’lek girl explained.

“I’m Ahsoka.”

“Keera.”

“So,” she inquired. “how does a beautiful girl like you end up working in a dump like this?”

“Is that the best you’ve got?” Keera replied, grinning.

“Not my best, no, but if you’re interested to find out more, I have plenty of time to spare.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to clear my schedule for you.” She answered winking, and Ashoka felt herself blush.

“So, what information do you need?” Keera asked, reminding her of why she was there in the first place.

“I wanted to know if you saw this man in this club a couple of weeks ago.” She said, showing a small holograph of Obi-Wan to the bartender as she moved closer to the projection to take a good look. She stared at in intently, before withdrawing and nodding thoughtfully.

“The Jedi, yes. He came here around that time, looking for information, like you, but on the source of some new poison he said someone used to try and kill a senator, I think. Absolutely horrible, right?”  She said before continuing the story, as Ahsoka nodded.

“When I offered him a drink he refused, but some guy bought him one, and he ended up drinking it. At that point, I was called to the other side of the bar, and when I came back around ten minutes later he was already gone.” Keera explained, and Ahsoka brought a hand to her chin pensively.

“Have you got any idea where he could have gone next?” She asked but Keera shook her head, and Ahsoka’s heart sank.

“However,” The Twi’lek continued and Ahsoka’s hope returned. “I saw him near the doors as he was leaving with a group of guys, his friends I believe.”

_Oh no._

“They are frequent costumers here, I just never got their names. All of the are human, but I think I heard their group leader mention once that he was from some place Mandalore.” Keera explained. “And I don’t think the Jedi was feeling very good, because he was stumbling a bit and he had to lean on one of them for support. Then, they were gone.”

Ahsoka remained quiet and rubbed her left temple, trying to concentrate as the music only seemed to get louder and louder.

“Ahsoka? Are you okay?” Keera asked softly, placing her hand on top of Ahsoka’s right one. The Togruta squeezed her hand and smiled softly.

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just… this music. I’ve been in here half an hour and I’m half deaf already.” She said, and heard Keera chuckle softly. “I should go. Thank you for everything, Keera.”

She got up, but the Twi’lek grabbed her wrist before she could leave.

“Wait!” She said, before getting a pen from her front pocket and writing something in Ahsoka’s wrist. Then, she let go and smiled.

“It was nice to meet you!”

“You too.” Ahsoka replied, and with one last look towards Keera, she turned around and left the club.

When she got to her speeder, she sat down heavily on the driver’s seat. The situation has just escalated to a whole new level, and she was not sure how she would break the news to her Master. Ahsoka rubbed her eyes tiredly, and turned on the engines.

Then, she noticed the messy writing on her wrists and smiled as she recognized the code for a personal comlink.

Maybe she did not have to kill Anakin after all.

 

~

 

“Therefore I believe sending Knight Flora and their Padawan to aid Master Fisto on this mission is the best course of action.” Mace Windu’s voice echoed through the walls of the Jedi Council Chamber.

“Hm. Agree with you I do. Not the best choice it is, but at the time the only one we have.” Yoda replied, but Obi-Wan was not listening to them.

He was concentrating on _not_ falling asleep during the meeting, and was failing miserably. This normally did not happen, as he was always very participative and talkative during any assembly, ever since he was granted a seat in the Council. But Obi-Wan had not slept at all on the previous night, as his nightmares only seem to worsen with every passing day. His sleeping and eating patterns have become more unbalanced than ever, and he was having trouble focusing on any and every assignment. He could not meditate properly, and his reflexes have become the worst he has ever seen. He has not felt this helpless, this _pitiful_ since he was a youngling, and he _hated_ it. Obi-Wan tried to go back to his normal self, but the harder he tried, the worst it got. He was being completely overwhelmed by pain and guilt, and every time he tried to push those feelings away, the heavier and stronger they became, and his walls would come tumbling down again.

_They should have killed you that night, you know._

He swallowed thickly and tried to ignore the voice inside his head, who had become his constant and only companion on the past weeks.

_At least you would have died as Obi-Wan Kenobi, instead of living as his disgraceful shadow as you do now._

“Master Kenobi!” Mace’s strong voice rang out again, snapping Obi-Wan out of his thoughts. He recomposed himself and looked around, holding back the embarrassment as he noticed that everyone in the room was staring at him.

“Yes?”

“Did you listen to a single word I said?”

“No.” He uttered quietly, closing his eyes for a moment. “I-I apologise, Masters. I am not feeling very well today.”

“Then perhaps you should leave.” Shaak Ti suggested, and Obi-Wan swallowed back the shame and discomfort.

“Agree I do.” Yoda said. “Go rest you should, Obi-Wan. Late in the night already it is.”

“But-” He started, but was interrupted by Mace again.

“Just get out of here, Kenobi. We’ll discuss this little episode tomorrow.”

So Obi-Wan got up and walked straight towards the Chamber’s doors. He slammed one of the doors behind him and only stopped walking when he reached his quarters. Once he was inside, he closed his eyes let out a yell of frustration, and felt the Force quiver around him as he released his irritation and ire into it. Obi-Wan could faintly hear the sound of several objects falling to the floor and others breaking as he clenched both of his fists in anger. He was angry at Mace for shouting at him, even though he had not done anything wrong, except being a little distracted. Angry at Shaak Ti for suggesting that he should leave the meeting when it was clearly not over yet, and angry at Yoda for agreeing with her. But most of all, Obi-Wan was angry at _himself_ , for almost falling asleep during the assembly, for even being distracted at all, and for being so kriffing _weak_ he could not complete a single task properly anymore, not even paying attention to a stupid boring Council meeting.

He opened his eyes and he gasped at the mess around him. At least half of the objects that were on the kitchen counter and the shelves in the living room were on the floor, and he could notice a big crack in the wall behind the HoloNet projector. Two of the plants he used to keep on the centre table in front of the couch had their vases shattered and Anakin’s blue mug next to them was completely crushed. He raised both of his hands, which were shaking, and looked at them in horror.

_You can’t focus enough to meditate._

Obi-Wan felt a tear slid down his cheek.

_You can’t fight like you used to._

More tears began to stream down his face and he started to wipe them furiously.

_You can’t contain your emotions at all._

He fell to his knees and leaned against the wall next to the door.

 _And you are so full of_ anger _, every bit as much as any Sith._

No. Nonono.

_You are not even a Jedi anymore._

He let out a sob, and closed his eyes in defeat.

 

~

 

It was morning already when Anakin returned to his quarters in the Temple. His thoughts momentarily drifted towards the previous night of lovemaking with Padmé, and he grinned unconsciously. His wife always succeeded in making him feel better, and Anakin ached to see her again later at night. Padmé’s presence was extremely comforting and was like a beacon of light in the midst of the darkness inside his head. She lits up a room whenever she walks in, and her calmness and strong brightness bring a strong sense of peace wherever she goes. Because of this, Anakin considered himself one of the luckiest people in the galaxy for having such an amazing woman as his wife. His grin widened and he let his mind drift back to the first time they met, all those years ago. If Padmé believed things would be okay with Obi-Wan, then they would, he was sure of it.

However, his smile quickly died as he stepped inside his quarters, which were in several different states of disarray. Glasses and mugs were broken inside the kitchen cupboards, while several plates and other acrylic objects lied broken on the floor. The several holocrons and hard copy books that decorated the main shelf on the living room were scattered all over the carpet, and Obi-Wan’s vases were completely shattered. Not even his favourite mug had been spared and- _is that a crack on the wall?_ Immediately, he moved his hand to rest on his lightsaber, and looked around wearily.

Then, he saw something on the corner of his eye and turned around to find his Master sitting against the wall, with his arms around his knees and eyes closed. Anakin could hear him snoring softly and sighed deeply. He kneeled next Obi-Wan and placed a hand on his forehead to check for a fever, and let out a small breath of relief when he found no trace of any illnesses. However, his heart broke a little as he noticed the dried tear tracks on Obi-Wan’s cheeks, and he softly ran his hand through his Master’s bangs, pushing them out of his sweaty forehead.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan moved against his touch and Anakin was looking at his now open blue eyes. They looked so _sad_ , and all he wanted to do was give the other man a hug, but before he could do anything, Obi-Wan pushed him away and got up.

“Wait!” Anakin said, grabbing his Master’s wrist with his mechanical hand.

“Let me _go_ , Anakin.” Obi-Wan warned.

“No.” He stated angrily, pulling Obi-Wan closer to him.

“I will not let you go until you tell me what happened here,” he said, motioning to the mess around them. “and what happened to _you_.”

“Nothing happened, Anakin! I already told you!” He argued back. “You’re becoming paranoid.”

“ _I’m paranoid?_ ” Anakin shouted, unconsciously tightening his grip on Obi-Wan’s wrist, making the other man wince in pain.

“Anakin, please, you’re hurting me.” The older Jedi whispered softly.

“You _lied_ to me, Obi-Wan! I sent Ahsoka to investigate the Rodian criminal you claimed had tried to steal from you, and guess _what_.” Anakin noticed he had stopped struggling against his grip and his eyes had widened in fear.

“Anakin-”

“ _He doesn’t exist_. You lied to my face, while I was trying to _help_ you, and you are clearly not taking care of yourself. I tried asking you over and over again what happened, but every single time you said you were fine.”

“I’m sorry, Anakin, please-“

“But I just found you passed out on the floor after you’ve clearly destroyed half of the stuff in this room and cried yourself to sleep, so I can say that you are _totally not fine, Obi-Wan!”_ Anakin finished, his voice rising even higher on the last sentence.

He let out a breath of relief after the much needed outburst, but his eyes widened in horror at the unmasked fear in Obi-Wan’s face.

 _He’s afraid of you_.

Anakin looked down at his hand where it was still wrapped around the other man’s wrist, and quickly let go, his anger being rapidly replaced by guilt as he noticed the darkening bruise he left there.

“Oh Force, Obi-Wan. I’m so sorry. I didn’t-” Anakin said apologetically, moving closer to Obi-Wan, but stopped talking as the other man flinched violently and frantically backed away from him until his back hit the wall.

“ _Stay away from me.”_ He spat viciously in Anakin’s direction, before opening the door to his room and locking himself in.

Anakin was about to follow him, when he heard his communicator chime. He cursed silently at the bad timing and at himself, before answering.

“What is it?” He said calmly.

“Master, it’s me.” Ahsoka’s voice rang through the comlink. “I need you to get Master Kenobi and come to the Council Chambers immediately. We have an emergency meeting in ten minutes.”

 “Copy that, Padawan. We’ll be there in five.” Anakin answered, before ending the call and sighing deeply. Then, he walked towards Obi-Wan’s room and knocked.

The universe did have an atrocious sense of humour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Jedi really do have really bad timing, and the universe loves to laugh at Anakin's misery. Padmé is now on Team Protect Obi-Wan with Anakin and the rest of us.
> 
> Also, Ahsoka is a raging bisexual ok. I will get my ass kicked, but I'll fight whoever states otherwise.
> 
> I love seeing my children suffer, especially Obi-Wan. I'm really sorry for the tears.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin does some comforting and some yelling, while the Jedi Council acts like the usual dicks they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today, this story officially completes one month since it was first published! I honestly can't believe that it has over 300 kudos, and if I could hug every single one of you I would. Thank you so much for all the beautiful comments and love. This would not be possible without you.
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be a bit longer, featuring a conversation between Anakin and Ahsoka but it's 2 am in the morning and I am too tired. So I will post-pone it to the next chapter. 
> 
> Have fun guys!

_“Obi-Wan,”_ Anakin’s concerned voice rang out, followed by a small knocking on the door. “ _let me in, please. I’m sorry.”_

The Jedi Master barely took three steps into the room before collapsing on the foot of his bed. He sat down, leaning against the wooden structure and brought his knees up to his chest. His entire body was shaking violently, his wrist felt like it was on fire, and he swallowed heavily, trying to get rid of the choking feeling that seemed to obstruct his breathing. His vision was starting to blurry and everything was suddenly too _loud._ Obi-Wan could hear the heavy pounding of Anakin’s fist against the door, whose volume seemed to constantly increase with every passing second. His head was throbbing and a sudden wave of nausea hit him, making his surroundings feel even more confusing and fuzzy. He looked down at his trembling hands, and pressed them hard against his ears, trying to push it all out. He closed his eyes and tried to fight the aggressive disorientation that was impairing all his senses and mental capabilities. Obi-Wan could not think, he could not _breathe_ , and the room only seemed to get colder and colder even though he felt like his entire body had been lit on fire.

He could hear a faint whisper against his ear, and opened his eyes to meet the icy ones of his assaulter’s. A choked gasp left his lips and he quickly backed away from the man’s threatening form. He ignored the pain on his bare back as it rubbed against the cement, while he put as much distance as he could between himself and the man. Suddenly, one hand grabbed his right wrist on a tight hold and viciously twisted it, emitting a heart wrenching scream from lips, which only earned him two violent kicks to the torso.

_Master!_

There were hands all over him now, turning him around and touching him, and Obi-Wan felt like his insides were on fire as one by one they moved in and out of him repeatedly, never-ending. He closed his eyes again and he could hear their laughter echoing through his head as his pathetic pleas of help fell on deaf ears. He could feel Anakin’s hold on his wrist burn as ferociously as his attackers’ merciless grip on his hips. 

_You need to open your eyes._

Obi-Wan could sense the cruel drag of their nails on his back, drawing out blood, and could not even make out the sound of his sobbing amongst the countless moans and groans they produced at his expense.

_Please, Master, you’re scaring me. Please, be okay._

He could hear Anakin’s thunderous – _and truthful_ , the voice reminded him - accusations ring through his mind, and the hard feeling of wood against his back. He felt the cold of the night assault his bare skin, while something warm wrapped itself around his battered frame.

_Please, Obi-Wan._

He felt strong hands touch his shoulders and press him even further down on the cold ground, and he could sense gloved fingers thread softly through his hair.

_Come back to me._

 

Anakin did not know what made Obi-Wan react the way he did , but he did know that there was something seriously wrong with him, and that they had a meeting with the Council in ten minutes, so he had to get inside his Master’s room. He knocked on the door a couple of times before calling out.

“Obi-Wan, let me in, please.” He tried, but the other Jedi did not answer. “I’m sorry.”

He sighed and pounded against the door a few more times, before deciding on opening the security panel and breaking through the locking mechanism. It only took him a couple of minutes to crumple the defences, and once the door opened, all his guilt was soon replaced by heartbreak at the sight of his best friend in submerged in agony. Anakin’s first instinct was to quickly sit next to Obi-Wan and pull the man’s small shaking form into his lap. His Master’s eyes were closed but Anakin could make out pain in his expression. Tears were violently streaming down his face, and he was unconsciously fighting against Anakin’s hold on him.

Anakin momentarily froze in awe and horror at the vulnerable and broken state Obi-Wan was in. Never in his fourteen years training under and fighting alongside his Master did he witness such a display of strong emotions from him. Obi-Wan was like the poster boy of the Jedi; always collected, controlled, and keeping his feelings and thoughts to himself. Of course, there were the common displays of humour, mostly in inconvenient situations, that were just so characteristic of him and the nearly imperceptible displays of affection he held just for Anakin sometimes, but never something to this extent. Obi-Wan was the pristine and well-behaved one, who never argued back to the Council, while Anakin was the stubborn and irresponsible one. Obi-Wan followed his orders like a good soldier, and controlled his feelings and actions like a good Jedi, while Anakin made most of his decisions impulsively and chose to display his emotions like an open book. He had made peace with the fact that he was never going to be the great perfect Jedi Obi-Wan was, but that was okay, because when he was nine years old, he had put his Master on a pedestal he knew he would never quite reach. However, at this very moment, that same man is crumbling and falling apart in his arms, and Anakin is starting to doubt every assumption he ever made about him.

The Jedi Knight swallowed back the fear and shock, and stretched his senses with the Force, focusing on his bond with Obi-Wan and immersing himself on the other man’s thoughts. He was immediately hit with feelings of dread, guilt and misery. Anakin inhaled deeply and pushed the clouds of negativity away, before concentrating his thoughts on Obi-Wan’s Force signature on the other side of their connection.

“Master!” He called out, both inside their minds and out loud, with all his strength. “You need to open your eyes.”

There was no response, and he held back the tears that formed on his eyes.

“Please, Master, you’re scaring me. Please, be okay.” Anakin wrapped his arms around him, securing him closely against his chest.

“Please, Obi-Wan.” Anakin tried one last time. He placed his chin on top of Obi-Wan’s head, before beginning to caress his hair affectionately with his mechanical hand.

“Come back to me.”

With that, he felt the other man jolt awake in his arms. His sad blue eyes were red and puffy, and he was scanning his surroundings confusedly. He struggled momentarily against Anakin’s grip, but the arms around him did not let go, and he sighed in defeat before meeting his former Padawan’s eyes.

“A-Anakin?” Obi-Wan whispered softly, and the mixed disbelief and relief in his voice completely broke Anakin’s heart.

“It’s okay.” He whispered quietly, while continuing to stroke his Master’s hair in an attempt to calm him down.

“I’m here. I won’t leave you.”

Fresh tears started to stream down Obi-Wan’s cheeks and he let out a sob as he hid his face on Anakin’s neck. His arms came up to envelop the younger man in a tight embrace, and Anakin sighed both in relief and sorrow.

“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Anakin stated reassuringly, rubbing small circles on Obi-Wan’s back. He pressed a soft kiss to the crying man’s forehead and tightened his hold on him protectively, while the sound of his Master’s sobs echoed through the room.

 _You’re going to be fine,_ Anakin said to himself as he felt something dark stir inside his chest. _I’ll make sure of it._

 

~

 

In the end, they ended up being over half an hour late to the meeting with the Jedi Council. Nearly half of that time was spent with Anakin holding Obi-Wan as he cried, with additional ten minutes being spent on the Jedi Master trying to recompose himself. The rest of the time was spent on their journey from their quarters to the Council chambers, through which was mostly spent in absolute silence. They both knew they would have to talk about it eventually, but after that outburst, Obi-Wan was putting great effort into maintaining as much distance from his apprentice as possible. He was foolish for losing control like that, and now the probability of Anakin finding out the truth was way too high. He had been weak and showed vulnerability, but now he was going to do his best to postpone that conversation as much as possible, and avoid exposing his former Padawan to the truth.

 _Because you’ve surely done a great job of it so far,_ the voice commented.

He replied by telling it to shut up, but he did not notice he had spoken out loud until he heard Anakin’s voice.

“What did you say?” He asked, even though Obi-Wan was sure he had heard him perfectly.

“Oh, nothing to worry about. I was just talking to myself.” He replied in a surprisingly steady voice. Anakin huffed in response, and they continued to walk silently for a few moments.

“Do you do that often?” He continued, but Obi-Wan’s response was cut off by their arrival on their destination. Ahsoka was pacing furiously outside the doors, and once she got her sights on Anakin she stormed in their direction, waving her hands around in frustration.

“ _Where were you?”_ She yelled, mostly at Anakin. “I commed you nearly an hour ago! The Council has been waiting on us for _thirty_ minutes.”

A part of Obi-Wan really did not care that he had made them wait, while his other half was worried about his indifference and horrified that he would ever think that.

“I apologise for our tardiness, little one. Anakin came to find me on time, but due to some complicated circumstances we ended up arriving late anyway.”

“Thank you, Master Kenobi. But it’s not me you need to apologise to.” She said, before turning her back to them and opening the doors. They followed her in, and Obi-Wan supressed his nervousness at having all the Council members staring at them with annoyance and a slight hint of frustration.

“Skywalker, Kenobi. Thank you for taking your time to grace us with your presence. You too Padawan Tano.” Adi Galia’s voice rang through the room. Obi-Wan winced at her disapproving tone, and he could feel the irritation eradiating from both Anakin and Ahsoka.

“I suppose you have a reasonable justification for your lateness?” Plo Koon’s voice followed soon after. Obi-Wan opened his mouth to explain, but the words caught in his throat when he realised he could not tell them the truth. His heart rate increased, and he could feel his hands begin to tremble. He saw Anakin watching him curiously from the corner of his eye and swallowed thickly before responding.

“My most sincere apologies, Masters. I was too caught up in my duties last night, and did not see Anakin’s message informing me of a meeting until a few minutes ago when I woke up. He and Padawan Tano were already here when I arrived, they were just waiting for me before proceeding inside.” The lie left his lips effortlessly, and Obi-Wan winced internally at how easy it was to conceal the truth from the Council and how he did not feel uncomfortable doing it at all.

“We do not want excuses, Master Kenobi.” Mace Windu responded. “All we ask of you is indispensable punctuality in the future.”

“Yes, Master.” He replied, and bowed slightly. He could see Ahsoka and Anakin doing the same.

“Now,” Windu continued. “the reason we summoned you here is a very unlucky one.”

“The Republican troops in Felucia have been overrun by Count Dooku’s forces, and out of the eighty clone squadrons stationed there fifteen days ago, only twelve remain.” The hologram of Aayla Secura explained.

“Regrettably, because of this,” Windu said. “this Council has decided to terminate your recess early and deploy you back to Felucia tomorrow morning to fight off the Separatist threat.”

“ _What?”_ Yelled Anakin, while Ahsoka gasped in disbelief.

“We understand that this is unexpected and unfortunate—”

“Unfortunate?! _”_ Anakin interrupted. “We did not go on a break because we wanted a vacation, but because we _never_ get one and we needed it. I believe you do recall Healer Eerin recommending it after my Padawan _fainted_ from exhaustion the last time we were assembled here.”

Obi-Wan moved his hand to touch Anakin’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, but he angrily recoiled from it, and Obi-Wan sighed.

“This war is not a _game_ for you to decide whether your players deserve a time out or not. We are not your pawns to be passed around the board, and we are certainly not your toy soldiers.”

“As you have already put it, Skywalker,” Mace cut in, getting up from his seat. “this is _not_ a game. I regret that you will have to be sent back into the war sooner than expected, but do I need to remind you that there are millions of people out there who are depending on you?”

“You made an oath to follow the teachings of the Jedi, and honour the Code. And with that vow, comes the indispensable responsibility to keep the peace in the galaxy, and the imperative duty to protect these people.”

“So I am sorry that you did not get to enjoy your recess to its full extent, but there more urgent matters that need your attention. And if I was not clear before, this is not a request. This is an _order_ , and you _are_ going to follow it, or am I going to have to suspend you for forsaking and neglecting your duties?”

The entire room was quiet as Master Windu finished his speech, and Obi-Wan could feel the pure tension in the Force emanating from every one of them. Anakin was dead silent and he made no move as to approach Mace or say anything else. He could see Ahsoka fidgeting next to him, wanting to speak up but also reaching the conclusion that it would be a _very_ bad idea to do so.

Suddenly, it felt like the room temperature had dropped a hundred degrees, and Obi-Wan shivered at the sharp coldness that began to surround the Force. Anakin gave Mace a cold smile and a small bow before speaking up.

“There is no need for such drastic measures, Master. I have my orders, and I will follow them. Have a good day.”

Then, he turned his back to the Council and stormed out of the room, harshly slamming the doors behind him. Obi-Wan exchanged a concerned look with Ahsoka, before directing his gaze back to the Jedi in front of them.

“Dismissed you are, Padawan Tano.” Yoda spoke up. “Talk with Master Kenobi alone we must.”

Ahsoka opened her mouth to protest but Obi-Wan cut her off.

“It’s okay, Ahsoka. Go talk to him.” She looked reluctant, but nodded and said her farewells before leaving.

Obi-Wan now regretted her absence, because everyone in the room was staring at him again and he could feel their profound discontent. He took in a deep breath as they began to express their strong disappointment in Anakin’s behaviour, and Obi-Wan wished he was the one that had gone after his apprentice instead.

 

~

Anakin picked up the remains of the broken tableware off the floor and threw them against the wall. He yelled at the universe for making his life so kriffing complicated, and groaned in frustration at the situation he was put in. When the Council had firstly given him, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka the option to rest for thirty full days, away from the front lines, Anakin had almost passed out with shock. For the past year, their time had been completely consumed by the war, and they put all of their effort and energy into beating the Separatists, whose hold on the galaxy seemed to grow stronger with every passing week. They, more than any other Jedi, were of extreme importance to the Republic, not only because of their strength and excellent efficiency, but because they were the poster soldiers. Everyone across the Inner and Outer Rim planets heard tales about The Negotiator, the Hero With No Fear, and his apprentice. They were practically unbeatable and all living beings with a Holonet connection or ears prone to story-telling knew who they were. They were legends and their constant raging resistance against the Separatists sent out a feeling of safety to the citizens of the Republic, who always had their heroes to count on, and boosted the morale of clones and Jedi everywhere, who vowed to be as resilient as them.

All of this, Anakin understood, and he accepted. War was something dangerous and destructive, and if one less day of rest for him meant one less day of catastrophic damage to the lives of the poor and innocent, then he would keep fighting until the end. However, where the health of the people he loved was concerned, he had a completely different view. Being sent back into the front lines too early could be highly detrimental to Ahsoka, as she has not yet been cleared by the Healers to go back into full combat and definitely needs more time to regain her health. She could pass out again, this time in the middle of a battle, and Anakin does not want to think what could happen if that occurred. Another impendent issue is Obi-Wan’s mental state, which seems to be deteriorating more and more as the days go by. Anakin still has not been able to figure out what was causing him so much inner turmoil and instability, and being deployed back to Felucia would only hinder his plans of getting to the truth. Not to mention, that Obi-Wan had had a full blown panic attack less than an hour ago, and so he was clearly too emotionally unstable to maintain his posture during a mission. This could compromise their entire assignment, and endanger not only himself but everyone around him. Neither of them was ready to go back into that hell, and Anakin hated the fact that there was nothing he could do to stop it. It is his job to protect them, and he _hates_ the Council for not allowing him to take care of them like he should. Anakin knew of the dangers of attachment, and thoroughly understood his responsibilities as a Jedi, but he also has the duty to look out for his family, and they are more important to him than anything else.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard Ahsoka call his name and knock on the door to his quarters. Anakin took in a deep breath, and did his best to release his emotions into the Force to effectively calm down before walking towards the door to let his Padawan in.

 

~

 _“He who is overly attached to his family members,_  
 _experiences fear and sorrow,_  
 _for the root of all grief_  
 _is attachment_. _"_  
                          - Chanakya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it was not clear, Anakin's altercation with Obi-Wan on the last chapter, especially the violent physical contact, triggered a massive panic attack, and Obi-Wan's mind started to shift between reality and his assault. Poor child, he never catches a break, does he?
> 
> In my opinion, the Jedi Council was very inconsiderate of Anakin's feelings and thoughts, which I believe was a major factor in his distrust of them and eventual Fall. I tried to add this concept in this story, as they are forced to send our heroes back into war, but are not aware of the possible catastrophic consequences that could lead to, especially because of Obi-Wan's trauma and Anakin's clear instability. 
> 
> Anakin's darkness is growing as he realises his best friend is constantly pushing him away and lying to him, while his family - who he is supposed to protect - is being put in severe danger and there is nothing he can do about it. His Fall always originated from his attachments, and his reluctance to accept that bad things happen, and he can't stop them, and this characteristic of his will play a major role in the story, especially after he finds out the truth.
> 
> We won't be having more Padmé for the next few chapter, but do not worry, because their mission won't be that long. Soon they will be back on Coruscant and, well... things will be more complicated than ever.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you next time.

**Author's Note:**

> For every kudo this story gets, Obi-Wan gets two hugs and a blanket.


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